Shy Girls' Guide to Flirting

Here are some tips. It's okay to go out flirting with a friend who is more confident than you. Teaming up is not cheating when it comes to flirting. The two of you can walk up to a cute guy together, and you will find your nerve with her there to go into your "Didn't I see you last week at Nell's party? I'm sure I did."

Or, failing that, try, "Hi, I'm Maryanne. I don't believe we've met."

Then make a comment--any comment. "I like this bar but I don't come here too often. It's friendly and unpretentious." It's a conversational opener.

The Art of Conversation

A conversation between two flirting people is something to behold. It is like watching two very good dancers who are in synch with one another. They lean in together and pull back at similar times. There are many broad smiles and a lot of nodding and laughter. There is an intense focus on each other as though no one else were in the room. There is some very subtle touching. It could be an "accidental" brushing of the arm across his arm or a hand on his hand while sharing a laugh. Just hope one of you doesn't ruin it all by answering a cell phone.

If he responds well to conversation, you can move it up a notch to complimenting. Do you like his hair, eyes, shirt, pants, what? Just be sincere when you give the compliment so he doesn't think you're a fake.

Next, offer to get him or buy him a drink. "I'm getting a drink. Can I get you one?"

Smile, Smile, Smile

Have a big, friendly smile planted on your face as you do these things, and you are no doubt getting somewhere. Even if this guy turns out not to be interested, he's done you the favor of helping increase your self-confidence. Sure, it's scary. But do you really want to continue to sit around passively hoping somebody will notice you?

Eye Contact

Learn how to give and receive eye contact. Think of babies playing peek-a-boo. First you look, then you don't. Initiating it is good. Sustained eye contact suggests that you are full of self-confidence. You want to attract someone who will be turned on by your self-confidence--someone who is also happy with themselves.

Props

Another tip for shy girls, and this is important, use props. Man magnets that will call him over to you are certain classy sports paraphernalia, high tech gadgets, or a book you're reading that makes you wish you could find a man reading it or who's even familiar with it. Be imaginative.

Subliminal Messages

Give him a few subliminal messages that have to do with being a sexual person. There are plenty of body parts to remind us of sex outside of the obvious ones. Hair reminds us, especially long hair for women, the neck, cleavage, the shoulders and the mouth. Try to situate yourself to best show off these areas. (Men who sit with their legs apart and their hands casually resting on their inner thighs are pointing, consciously or not, to their crotches.)

Practice these movements and conversational inroads and you can become a master flirt never to be a shy gal again.

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