Can a Man Tell if His Bride-to-Be has had Premarital Sex?

For some men, whether or not their bride-to-be has ever had premarital sex is an important issue, whereas to others, it is less so. In today’s permissive society, studies have shown that “more than nine out of 10 Americans,” both males and females, have engaged in premarital sex.

• Can a man tell if his bride-to be has had premarital sex? The answer is "no." He cannot tell by physically examining her body.
• Contrary to popular belief, even a physician cannot know for sure.

The "hymen" is a thin piece of skin that covers the opening to the vagina, often referred to in slang terms as “the cherry” or "a girl’s cherry." The hymen must be broken in order for sexual intercourse to take place.

While in some cases, a girl’s hymen may stay intact until she first engages in sexual activity. Others break due to such activities as riding a bike, horseback riding, gymnastics, or inserting a tampon.

• For this reason, it cannot be said that a broken hymen is a sign that any woman has engaged in premarital sex.

If the relationship has reached a point where marriage is being considered, the couple should be able to effectively communicate with one another and be able to discuss the subject of premarital sex openly and honestly.

If a woman has had premarital relations with another man, or other men, before she began dating the current man in her life and she does not feel as though she can tell him for fear of what he will think of her, then it may be necessary to seriously consider whether, or not, this is the man she wishes to marry.

Acceptance of a person, and acceptance of their past life, is an important aspect of being in a serious and committed relationship. If both parties do not feel that they can be honest with the other and fear what might result if they are, then this is a warning sign that there are some communication issues in the relationship that need to be dealt with before marriage plans should be made.

Be aware that the key to a satisfying sex life for married couples and the key to a happy and lasting marriage is the ability to communicate thoughts, ideas, needs, desires, goals, and feelings with the other person, and vice versa.

It is when communication breaks down that a relationship begins to feel the strain and this is when doubts about the future of a relationship can arise.

Equality has still not taken hold of our society completely, and therefore, what actions are often considered okay for men to do are still not all right for women to do. This view is changing and some people have a more egalitarian outlook when it comes to sexual behavior for both sexes.

Some people, however, may feel that total disclosure of events from their past is not relevant to their relationship and may choose to keep certain pieces of personal information to themselves. This is up to a person’s own discretion.

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