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How Do I Tell My Future Spouse That I Am Considering Having a Pre-Nuptial Agreement Drawn Up?

Bringing up the topic of a pre-nuptial agreement with your future spouse can sometimes be difficult as it is a touchy subject but it is a necessary one to have. However this type of discussion is an excellent starting off point for discussions about other important financial issues such as lifestyles, roles as well as who must take on what financial responsibilities. A talk about pre-nuptial agreements is also a way to learn more about each other’s goals, dreams, hopes and future expectations.

Being able to bring up this discussion with a future spouse is a way to foster good communication between the two of you and it shows that you are heading down the path of a partnership that will be mutually fulfilling to you both. Regardless of your present circumstances, whether you have lots of assets or very little or children from a previous relationship or plan to have children with your future spouse, a pre-nup can benefit both people. This is an important point to emphasize to your future spouse when you first bring up the topic of a pre-nuptial agreement.

There are many reasons why a pre-nuptial agreement can benefit both spouse. Here is a sampling of these reasons:

  • It shows a clear definition of equality in a partnership.
  • It helps to determine the value of non-monetary contributions to a marital union such as compromises that must be made in regards to careers such as becoming a stay at home mom or dad.
  • Pre-nuptial agreements take into account the “pre-marriage nest egg” which includes such items as the home you each presently share or the home you will share in the future, pension plans of both individuals, property that has emotional significance attached to it (such as it belonged to a parent or grandparent) and stock portfolios.
  • Gifts and inheritances can be protected.
  • Pre-nuptial agreements help to avoid conflicts and disputes among family members in the event of divorce or death. This includes problems that can arise as a result of stock options, family businesses, practices and licenses, copyrights, royalties, pension plans and professional degrees.
  • It ensures that children from previous marriages do not lose out on their inheritances.
  • Pre-nuptial agreements are responsible for allocating pre-marriage ownership and/or partnership in a business.
  • Pre-nuptial agreements protect a spouse from the debts of the other spouse that are brought into the marriage such as student loans, personal loans and credit card debts.

The earlier in a relationship you describe a pre-nuptial agreement the better. As your relationship deepens and becomes more committed, the conversations you have about serious things should become more specific and more detailed. Have this serious conversation wherever you have other serious conversations about families, jobs, etc. Make sure you choose a time and place that is comfortable and do not have the conversation when you are in a hurry. Perhaps a walk in the park or a discussion over coffee or a talk while sitting on the living room couch is a fitting setting for this important talk.

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