R-E-S-P-E-C-T:  How to Get It, How to Give It

When it comes to our children, we parents earn their respect simply by providing them with food, clothing and shelter.  Nothing else is technically necessary.  However, it makes for a more healthy relationship between you and your child if you can establish a basis for mutual respect that will last long past the time you are still supporting them.  To that end,  consider the following points when interacting with your teen.

First, always treat him with respect, and make sure others do, too.  Never belittle your teen or correct him in front of others or gossip about them to other parents.  You don't have to pretend they are perfect but keep their indiscretions between you and them.  Also, don't allow other adults in his life to disrespect him in front of others.  Insist that reprimands or corrections be handled in private.

Second, ask your teen's opinion about matters he has an expertise in, or in which he might have an interest.  Then listen carefully and respectfully to what he says before offering your opinion.  Whether you agree with him or not, make sure your interactions are mutually respectful.

Third, believe in your teen’s abilities, and give him the respect of allowing him to solve some of his own problems.  In doing so you let him know that you see him as a young adult who is competent and able to handle himself in the world.

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