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Madison Grey's Sex and Relationship Advice Q - I am 30 yrs old and I’m in love with a very nice guy that is 18 years older than I am. However there is a problem. My parents are very conservative, traditional, and set to their ways and culture. There is no way they will accept this relationship. They think I’m ruining my future. My mother is basically forcing me to choose between him and them. I love my parents deeply and am thankful for what they have done for me. I’m so torn. Everyday I think about this and it’s killing me inside. - Nicole, North Carolina A - Nicole, you are seeking approval from your parents and that is normal. Your parents need to realize that this is your life and you are old enough to make your own decisions and live with the consequences. I also understand how difficult it can also be for your mother to accept the fact that you love an older man. This might not be what she hoped for you. Since she’s is set to her ways of thinking it can be challenging to see otherwise. Acceptance takes time for both sides. (Yours and hers), take little steps. Show her how happy this man makes you. Also seek counseling to see how you can overcome this struggle and ways to cope. Q - I just started dating my friend’s friend. He’s nice but I have heard from my friend that he cheated on his ex-girlfriend. He’s very sweet and attentive and really everything I would like for a guy to be, but every time I see him I keep thinking about his cheating. Maybe I am being silly but it’s bothering me and I don’t know how to bring it up without him thinking that I am being distrustful. -Christine, Ohio A - Christine, I think this is one of those inevitable “we need to talk” situations. Hold your breathe, count until 10, go around the bush and finally spit it out. I know it’s hard to bring it up because your peace of mind depends on his answer. But you are not going to stop thinking about it unless you talk to him. What is worst is that you are not enjoying spending time with him because you have this lingering thought that is tormenting you. Either way, communicating how you feel is always the best way to go. You can make decisions after you know the facts. Q - My boyfriend would love it if I was louder during sex. The thing is … it’s just not in me. He likes all the dirty talk and am just not used to it. I’ve never had to do it and I feel totally shy about it. I feel I would be a complete dork and he will be turned off by it. I want to please him but I don’t know how to get loose. Any ideas? -Natalie, Washington A - Oh dear how do we start here… It seems dirty talk is important for your boy and obviously you want to please and keep him excited in bed. Start with little things. Begin with words that you are comfortable with. For example, tell him how you love to kiss his neck. Sometimes whispering it into his ear and avoiding eye contact helps if you are shy. Most important, before anything, let him know that you need him to make you feel comfortable with this new sexual adventure. I’m sure he will thank you for your efforts later. Q - I’m 24 and gay. I went away to college to a different state leaving my parents behind. They don’t have a clue of my sexual orientation. They are very religious and for sure will not accept me. I just graduated and I’m back in my hometown for grad school. I still depend on them financially and I’m scared that if I tell them they will cut me off completely. Hiding it when I was away was easier, but now that I am back home, I feel that I am always watching myself everywhere I go in order for them not to find out. I feel like I should just tell them I just don’t know when. I’m tired of this. -Michelle, Minnesota A - Michelle, hiding an important part of who you are from your parents or anybody can be tiring for sure. if you feel inclined to tell them you will find the appropriate time to do it. I know it can be overwhelming. Surround yourself with friends that understand what you are going through and are going to be an emotional support when you do tell your parents.
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