When Sex Hurts

Painful sex is very common. Many couples are unable to have sexual intercourse because the woman finds that it hurts too much.

Painful sex is also called dyspareunia.

Common causes of pain during sex

Lack of sexual arousal. Lack of sexual arousal is the most common cause of painful intercourse. Sex becomes painful because during arousal, the vagina becomes moist and lubricated to avoid any friction. Without lubrication, painful friction occurs.

If you are fully aroused when you have sex but still experiencing pain, check with your doctor to make sure you aren't suffering from an underlying condition.

When you visit your doctor, they will ask you several questions, including:

• Is the pain just around the outside of your vagina or is it deeper?
• Is the pain to one side or both?
• Do you have any back pain?
• How would you describe the pain? Is it a deep ache, or sore and burning, or sharp and stabbing?
• Do you only feel the pain during intercourse or does the pain persist?
• Does the pain vary at different times of the month or in different positions?

If your lack of sexual arousal is not caused by another medical condition, try these tips to help get rid of pain and increase sexual arousal:

• Relax. Before engaging in sex, take a deep breath and relax. Have a bath, use deep-breathing techniques or buy a relaxation tape from your local health shop.
• Work on relationship issues. If you're unhappy about something with your partner, it might be difficult to enjoy sex with them. Try to work out your problems.
• Strengthen your pelvic floor. You can strengthen your pelvic muscles by doing Kegal exercises. A firm pelvic floor will increase the blood flow to your genital area and make you more conscious of any sensations of physical arousal.
• Communicate with your partner. It is important to talk with your partner about the pain you’re experiencing and figure out other ways for both of you to satisfy your sexual needs.
• Try different positions. Pain during sex may be a result of pressure on particular parts of the body. It may be putting pressure on certain joints hurt, or that penetration at a certain angle is painful.
• Watch our video. We created a video that contains tips to help you get in the mood and enjoy sex

Post-traumatic stress is another cause of pain during sex. Women and men who have experienced sexual assault or abuse may experience pain when having sex.

Vaginismus also causes pain during sex. Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina that closes the vagina. Vaginismus causes penetration to be difficult, painful, or even impossible.