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Step-Family Relationships

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Getting along with your stepfather

Being a stepchild can be difficult. Dealing with your parents not being together is complicated enough, but when your parent marries another person, it can be devastating. Getting along with your stepfather can be challenging. However, having a relationship with your stepfather can be very rewarding.

Getting along with your stepfather starts with your mom. Talk to her about your feelings towards him. Ask her questions about him. Find out what he does for a living. Does he like sports? Does he have other children your age? Where did he grow up? Does he enjoy doing some of the things you like?

If you don't like your stepfather's personality, think about what it is you don't like. How is he treating your mom? If he treats your mom good, that's something you should consider. Is he mean to you? If he's not, try to get to know him, he might be a very nice person.

Your stepfather is probably nervous too

Your step-father is probably nervous about being a step-parent. If he doesn't have a child of his own, don't expect him to be the perfect parent.

Be open and honest with your mom and stepfather. If you feel comfortable enough, talk to him or your mom about it. You don't feel comfortable talking, maybe you can write them a letter.

Take your time

Take time to get to know your stepfather. If your mom is forcing you to get along with him, tell her that you're trying, but it's difficult to think of someone as a father when you are getting to know them.

Don't force yourself to like him. Just because you mother married someone else doesn't mean you have to like him. However, it is important to to respect him and her decision on marrying him. If you respect him, you can still get along with him without liking him.

Give your step-father a chance to grow on you. It's very difficult to accept someone else playing the role of your father. Your step-father probably feels out of place, and doesn't want to make you or your mom unhappy. Give it time, talk to your step-father and find out if the two of you have similiar qualities. One thing that the two of you share, is that both of you love your mom.

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