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Regaining intimacy after an affair

Is it possible to salvage a relationship after a partner goes astray? Many women would go berserk and turn on their nonstop blabbering if asked this question. Most would say “no way”, but some women try to work things out. Infidelity is not an easy bout to deal with. How would you trust him or her again? Is regaining intimacy after an affair possible?

Regaining intimacy after an affair means hard work for both. Here are some things to guide couples to try and work on the relationship to save it.

Acknowledge the affair. The first step to regaining intimacy after an affair is accepting and acknowledging that an affair did happen. It is not important to mention specific details of the affair. Honesty is crucial at this point.

Listen. While it maybe really painful that a partner cheated on you, brace yourself and listen. This opens the channel of good communication, which is vital in achieving your goal.

Examine yourself. It is natural to feel drawn to extremes when a partner commits infidelity. Do you stay or do you leave? Is your goal to regain intimacy after the affair? Are you willing to work it out with your partner?

Stop the blame. Pointing fingers is a no-no. Putting the blame on the unfaithful partner will only make matters worse. It will create a great deal of a distance between the two of you.

Accept responsibility. Each partner must acknowledge that he shares a responsibility of what caused the affairt. It is very important to be open and honest about both your wants and needs. Set a goal and work together to achieve this goal.

Do not involve the kids. For couples that have children, it is very important to be considerate and loving. Be honest and tell them that mommy and daddy need some time alone to work on some differences but do not burden them with details. Most kids will assume it is their fault so it is very important to leave them out. Do not fight or discuss the affari in front of them. Do it privately.

Consider counseling. If you are have difficulty talking with your partner about the affair, consider seeking the help of a counselor to direct discussions and navigate through the pains that the affair has caused. The counselor will help in goal setting and will lead the couple to work together in regaining intimacy after the affair.

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