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Are you a rebound girlfriend? Tips to tell if you are!

He seems to good to be true.  He is sweet, attentive, intelligent and sociable.  But one thing bothers you and it's pretty major.  You just heard from a friend of a friend that he had been seeing a woman in a serious relationship for five years--in fact they'd been engaged--then she dumped him:  two weeks before he first asked you out.  Are you his rebound girl?

A rebound relationship is when someone has just broken up after a fairly long-term relationship and they almost immediately start dating someone new to get over the person they broke up with.  The new relationship is meant to keep them from having to deal with their feelings about the breakup.  We all know that can't be healthy.  Big problems happen the longer he is with the woman in the rebound relationship comparing her to his lost love.  The more time goes by the more the novelty of dating someone new wears off and the more he sees she has major flaws:  she's not the old girlfriend. 

Rebound relationships are sleazy because he might even just be using you to try to make her jealous so she'll come running back.  It might be hard to relax and know he really cares.  You always feel that if he had half the chance he would dump you and go running back to her.   You're just a tool to help him move on after all. 

Some men can hide being a rebounder fairly well.  But the really sad thing is that if you don't protect yourself you may end up falling for him not knowing the mean and dangerous game he's playing with your heart.  You're the one who ends up hurt.  Did he just pretend that you were the right one for him?  Or worse yet, what if he knew all the time you weren't the right one for him but just pretended you were.

There are signs to help you determine if you should run now or hang in there and hope for the best.  Face it though, he didn't really give himself time to heal from a five-year relationship though.  Something weird must be going on emotionally with him.

Here are some things to look for:

Does he treat you fine when you're alone and act like he barely knows you when you're with his friends?  Bad sign.  He may be thinking you don't measure up to his previous woman or else he is still embarrassed about getting dumped. 

Does he talk a lot about this other woman he used to know or went out with a lot?  That, too, is a bad sign.  He is not letting go of her.  It's to be expected of course.  It just is going to be a while yet before you find out if he'll ever be successful at it.

Is he bitter and angry at her?  Does he make remarks about vengeance or hatred towards somebody?  Does he have a bad attitude about women?  That means you too.  You may have to leave him in his bitter misery. 

Check out social networking websites.  See what he's telling the world about his breakup on Facebook and MySpace.  What does he say his relationship status is now?  Has the ex-girlfriend been talking on social pages?

Make him take you to his place, unexpectedly if possible.  Are her pictures still everywhere?  What else of hers is lying around?  If you don't already know for sure, come right out and ask how long it's been since the breakup.  Be prepared for a rocky road if he says two months or less.  It's not enough time to get over someone.  More than two months is iffy.  He may be ready for a new relationship or he may not. Proceed with caution.  You should be okay if it's been over a year. 

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