How to talk about money

Why people don't talk about money

Psychologists say that many people will talk about anything, (sex included), before they'll talk about their finances. People don't talk about money because money symbolizes different things to different people: power, control, security, or love.

Money and divorce

Studies show that money issues are the driving force in 90% of divorces. However, if you work at not letting financial issues come between you and your partner, you can have a happy marriage.

Tips on how to talk about money

• Find a Neutral Time. Don't wait until you are behind on the mortgage or your spouse has charged up a credit card before you start a conversation about money. It is best to have a calm, relaxed discussion when there's no particular money issue at hand.
• Talk. Talk about your own feelings about a financial issue. Share your hopes, experiences, and dreams. Encourage your partner to talk about their feelings about money. If they are not ready to talk now, ask them to think about talk with you about financial issues in the near future. Talk about how your parents dealt with money, what it meant to you when you were growing up, and how you dealt with money issues in past relationships.
• Be honest with yourself and your partner. Be honest with yourself about how you feel. If you've always been independent, it may be hard for you to be "taken care of" financially. If you have more assets than your partner, you may feel fear about risking your hard-earned money, or resentment if his or her spending habits are not good.
• Talk with a counselor. If you are unable to talk with your spouse about finances, seek out a counselor to help you sort through your financial issues. Think about seeing a financial counselor, a therapist or marriage counselor.

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