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Making healthy investments in your relationship We work to make enough money. We work out to keep ourselves from growing flabby or from being overweight. And we clean and organize our houses. But how much time and investment do we put into our relationship with our partner or spouse? Laziness and procrastination in this area will result in an unhealthy relationship over time. Being comfortable with one another is not enough. You're used to being with your partner. Do you take him or her for granted? Things can go downhill without your even being aware of it. Suddenly one or both of you doesn't feel the same anymore, and the magic is over because you stopped investing in the relationship. A good relationship takes effort and work like everything else. You have to work at maintaining passion by bringing some new excitement to lovemaking, and you have to work at communication by maintaining absolute honesty whenever possible. You have to maintain your partner's respect in front of everyone from the children to the neighbors to the postal carrier. There are no free rides in a committed relationship. A healthy relationship demands mutual love, respect and honesty. What that requires is a daily commitment to the relationship. Find the time and creativity to show expressions of love that are unexpected and spontaneous. Energize the relationship and infuse it with new ways to show your mutual love. It's like buying a new car. At first, your anxious to take it out and see what it can do. Soon it just becomes a way to get from point A to point B. Maybe it's time to take your old car out and see what it can still do. Take that relationship out and take up couples yoga or salsa dancing and watch yourselves having fun in new ways. Surprise him with a picnic dinner at the beach. Surprise her with an unexpected night out on the town. Getting in a rut is an enemy to a good relationship. Comfortable is good, but activities that stress renewal and are re-energizing become crucial forces in keeping a relationship healthy and growing. Renew your relationship and get back to what it was before you had children. Schedule things that must get done and hire sitters so that just the two of you can spend some quality time together to work on the loving and caring bond that supports the family. The challenge for some couples is the belief that they cannot find the time or cannot find someone to rely on for childcare. You need to do this in order to invest in your primary relationship on which everything else rests. It's a small investment whatever the hourly rate when you consider the dividends. Yes, it takes work. Nothing worthwhile comes easily. But the investments now will pay huge dividends sooner than you may think and in the future as well.
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