How to stop fighting about money
Fighting about money
Dueling over dollars is a common problem in marriages--and a common cause of divorce, If you and your spouse fight about money, it is important to stop. Stop fighting about money start talking about it.
Tips to stop fighting about money
- Recognize and focus on the truth
- Communicate nicely. Stop beating each other up verbally.
- Understand your money beliefs. Most of your attitudes toward money were formed during childhood. Once you identify those beliefs about money and how you got them, you can better understand each other. In most situations, you are arguing because you approach things differently.
- Do not blame your spouse. Both of you have to take equal responsibility for your financial situation and for fighting. Once you stop blaming, you'll be able to work on a solution.
- Put it in writing. Draft a budget and cash flow statement. Creating a budget will helped Denise decrease your money clashes.
- Dig deep. Sometimes money fights are not really about money. They may be caused by another problem. For instance, a wife may pick fights about money, when the real reason she is upset is because she wants her husband to spend more time with her.
- Seek help. Consider seeing a financial planner trained in mediation, a psychologist, or a marriage therapist.
Some common money squabbles are about:
- How much to invest in a car or a house?
- Whether or not to invest in stocks or to stash cash in savings accounts?
- How much debt is OK?
- Joint or separate bank accounts?
- Joint or separate credit cards?
- Child support payments