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Are you addicted to disappointing relationships?

Have you been able to admit yet that the person you are dating is not the person of your dreams?  In fact, if truth be told, you wish they weren't even in your reality, but you do nothing to get this person out of your life.  Why do you think that is?

Could it be that you have become brainwashed into believing something along these lines:

  1. If you dump this one, you will be lonely the rest of your life.
  2. No one will ever, ever love you like this person loves you.  You would be closing the door to love forever.
  3. You fear what people would say and the criticism you might get for letting somebody go when you have no one waiting in the wings. 
  4. You would be nothing but a big fat capital F failure if you broke up with another person with your history of failed romances. 
  5. You are afraid you might get so depressed that you'd end up locked up or becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict

Puuleeze!  Are you a drama queen or what?  You are holding yourself hostage in an untenable situation.  You really know deep down how desperately unhappy this relationship is making you, but you make no effort to exit it.  You have gotten used to making excuses for your partner's disappointing and bad behavior and this keeps you trapped.  You've got a serious case of relationship addiction.  Addiction means clinging stubbornly to something that you know for sure is bad for you. 

If this article has been hitting a nerve or two so far, it might be time to go to counseling to discover why you are addicted to disappointing relationships.  You may need help in accepting your addiction and you probably need help to conquer it.  It's time to get in touch with those feelings you have have been trying to block for so long. 

You have been like the little Dutch boy when the dam broke and he had nothing to use to stop the water from spilling over but his thumb.  You have been holding one little thumb in the hole that has tried to hold back a floodgate of some very strong, perhaps violent feelings.  Because you want to live, be free and be happy, and you know you are in prison as long as you stay with someone who has let you down so badly and so often.

You need to be your own best friend now.  You need to encourage yourself to stay focused.  Set a goal.  Picture yourself far away from all the disappointment and see yourself closer to all the happiness and good health you need and deserve.  Yes, living the way you have been living was about to break down your health if it hasn't already.  Something has got to give when you try so desperately to live a lie.   You know you have been tired for a long time of living with something missing.  Admit it now and get on with your life.  Otherwise the constant stress will begin to break you down and drain your energy and cause you serious physical illnesses.  It's time to get serious about your one and only life.

You can do it.  That cage door isn't locked.  Open it and walk out into the sun and don't look back.

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