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How to Keep Arguments Under Control

No one likes to argue but arguments will happen.

Simple tips on how to keep arguments under control:

  • No name-calling, no foul language, no raised voices.
  • Give direct eye contact and do nothing else while your spouse is talking.
  • Don't throw items.
  • Don't slam doors.
  • Listen and don't interrupt.
  • Repeat what the person has said. Use as many of the same words as possible.
  • Sympathize. Let the other person know you understand that they are feeling bad, even if they are blaming you for the problem.
  • Don't ignore the person.
  • Ask, "Is there anything more you want to tell me?"
  • Give your partner a chance to discover deeper feelings, and to shift to a calmer, more neutral place.
  • Do not argue while intoxicated or under the influence of drugs.
  • If you find yourself getting carried away, call a time-out. Stop right there and agree to talk later.

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