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How to get along with your mother-in-law

  1. Talk to your spouse. If your spouse has no idea how you feel about your mother in-law, they may put you in situations you'd rather not be in, like taking care of her while she's sick, or picking her up from the airport when she comes to visit.. Tell your spouse kindly how you feel. State the facts, not your opinions. For example, if your mother-in-law tried to always prepares food with meat even though she knows you are a vegetarian, say so. Don't say, "She's trying to poison me!" Explain very clearly, without being rude and hurtful.
  2. Discuss calmly. When talking to your spouse about their mother, avoid name calling and yelling.
  3. Never trash or criticize your mother-in-law Conversations will always get back to your spouse or partner if you trash or criticize your mother-in-law to other members of the family or close friends. In the long run, this will only make matters worse.
  4. Be understanding. Maybe your mother-in-law doesn't realize she is treating you mean or unfairly. Try to think about her actions from her perspective.
  5. Spend some time with her and get to know her. Ask her to lunch, or a pedicure. Maybe the next time you're at her house, try to spend a few moments with her in the kitchen or sit near her and chat.
  6. Communicate with your mother-in-law. Often, the best way to solve relationship tension is to figure out the source. Keep an open dialogue with your mother-in-law and you'll find you can avoid a lot of arguments, unnecessary tension and stress.
  7. Be flexible and compromise. If you and your mother-in-law do not agree, consider a compromise. Your willingness to be flexible may surprise your mother-in-law and cause her to give in a little, too.
  8. Have equal friendships with the mother-in-law and father-in-law. Do not try to make friends with the father-in-law, and in the process ignore the mother-in-law. Treat both of them equally.

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