| Infancy to 2 years |
Is not yet able to understand death. |
Quietness, crankiness, decreased activity, poor sleep, and weight loss. |
| Separation from mother causes changes. |
| 2-6 years |
Death is like sleeping. |
Asks many questions (How does she go to the bathroom? How does she eat?). |
| Problems in eating, sleeping, and bladder and bowel control. |
| Fear of abandonment. |
| Tantrums. |
| Dead person continues to live and function in some ways. |
Magical thinking (Did I think something or do something that caused the death? Like when I said I hate you and I wish you would die?). |
| Death is temporary, not final. |
| Dead person can come back to life. |
| 6-9 years |
Death is thought of as a person or spirit (skeleton, ghost, bogeyman). |
Curious about death. |
| Asks specific questions. |
| May have exaggerated fears about school. |
| Death is final and frightening. |
May have aggressive behaviors (especially boys). |
| Some concerns about imaginary illnesses. |
| Death happens to others, it won’t happen to ME. |
May feel abandoned. |
| 9 and older |
Everyone will die. |
Heightened emotions, guilt, anger, shame. |
| Increased anxiety over own death. |
| Mood swings. |
| Death is final and cannot be changed. |
Fear of rejection; not wanting to be different from peers. |
| Even I will die. |
Changes in eating habits. |
| Sleeping problems. |
| Regressive behaviors (loss of interest in outside activities). |
| Impulsive behaviors. |
| Feels guilty about being alive (especially related to death of a brother, sister, or peer). |
