Anger, depression, guilt, sadness, jealousy, resentment – just a few of the emotions a couple can expect to experience when they have difficulty conceiving. Friends and family may make comments that, although well meaning, make you feel worse. Plus with all the doctor’s appointments and constant monitoring, you feel as if you’re living in a fishbowl.
The following tips can help you deal with the emotional ups and downs of infertility:
- Educate yourselves – The more you know about your situation, the more you can prepare for what lies ahead. Stay up to date with changing technologies and possible treatments. Ask your doctor questions – lots of questions. Only then can you make informed choices.
- Get support…but realize that different people will be able to provide different types of support. There will be times that you just want to let off steam with family or friends, but there will be other times when only a professional or someone who has experienced the same problems can offer comfort.
- Communicate with your partner – Sometimes it will feel as if no one else understands. This is when it is vital to have a strong, loving relationship.
- It’s ok to avoid situations that will make you feel worse. That baby shower for the woman at work? The family get-together with all the kids? Sometimes, you just can’t face being around all the reminders. Send a gift in advance, make your excuses, and don’t go.
- Accept your feelings – This is not your fault; don’t blame yourself for feeling bad. On the other hand, accept that you will feel pretty lousy. Give yourself space when you need to, but don’t allow it to consume you.