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How to Get Through Your First Date After Divorce
by Kim Hess

So now you’re divorced and it dawns on you that if you want to meet another significant other you’ve got to venture out into the dating world again. Think for a moment…technically you have been dating the same person for many years or even many decades! How will you survive your first time out in the dating world? Follow these helpful hints to make your dating life not only successful, but fun.

Don’t Be Late

Schedule plenty of time to arrive at the meeting place. Plan to arrive early. The first date is already a nerve wrecking experience without wondering if they’ve been stood up. Many dates have been abandoned because of the other person’s tardiness.

Don’t Ignore Your Date

If you are ogling other people during your time together, not making eye contact, or talking on your cell phone, this will not impress your date.

Don’t Get Drunk

Even if you are not driving, getting drunk on a date will put you at a disadvantage, and is unattractive.

Don’t Come on too Strong

Keep the date on a platonic level. No sexual advances or lewd comments. It’s just bad taste on a first date.

Don’t Talk About Your Ex

No one wants to hear about their date’s ex spouse, whether it’s good or bad.

Don’t Talk About a Future Relationship

To most people it is a huge turn off if the conversations turns to questions like “Do you want to get (re)married”, or “Have you thought about having (more) kids?” Remember, this is a first date. Give your date and yourself some time before bringing up such heavy issues.

While following these tips, don’t get caught up in the belief that entering another relationship will heal the wounds that your divorce has caused. Make sure you’re dating to have a good time and not to fall in love with the first person who is nice to you. If you have strong feelings for someone you’ve just met understand that it may be the rebound dictating your feelings and not your common sense.

Dating new people can distract you from your pain and reaffirm your desirability. It is more important to focus on you as a person, and take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. No one else has the total power and strength to heal your heart but you.

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