When Does Asking Your Ex-Spouse for a Favor Cross The Line
by Kim Hess

There may come a time that you may need to approach your ex spouse with a favor. Follow these helpful tips to make sure that your request is not out of line and that your ex will not feel taken advantage of.

Is It Reasonable?

Think what you want from your ex is out of line? Ask an unbiased third opinion what they think. Put yourself in your ex’s shoes. If they asked you for the same favor would you think it was a reasonable one?

Would You Ask A Friend?

If you ask your ex to do something you would not ask of a good friend, it’s time to re-think what you want.

Are You Being Insensitive?

Your ex spouse may still have strong feelings for you. Make sure you are not taking advantage of these feeling to get what you want. There may also still be pride and hurt feelings lingering after the divorce. Ask yourself how your ex might respond to you asking for something at this time.

Using Guilt?

Just because you two once had a good relationship and were partners does not mean they are still entitled to do favors for you. Do not use guilt to try to get your way. You may be ruining your relationship with your ex if you use this tactic.

Is It Financial?

Asking for money to help support your children is usually acceptable. However, asking for money for your personal unessential wants may not be acceptable.

Would You Return the Favor?

Do not expect to receive help if you aren’t willing to give it. If your ex watches the kids for you, be willing to do the same if he or she asks.

Never assume that your ex is available to fulfill your every whim at the drop of a hat. If your ex doesn’t do the favor for you, don’t hold a grudge. And keep in mind that requesting and receiving favors should be a two way street.

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