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To Tell or Not to Tell?

Do you tell the younger man your age or do you assume he knows you’re much older?

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. When an older woman dates a younger man should she tell the man her age or should she just assume that he is aware of the difference in their respective ages? For some men the difference in age might be some of the appeal that the older woman, who is the object of his affection, holds. For still other men, the age difference might not make a great deal of difference at all.

The question of whether or not a woman should reveal this truth is not an easy question to answer. Often times the key to it is to allow the relationship to develop naturally and as it unfolds, see what happens and this should lead you to doing what is best for the both of you. It also depends on the personality of each individual involved in the equation. Some people can enjoy another’s company and laugh and have fun while others are more fixated and concerned about the age difference.

If you feel that it is dishonest not to tell a man how old you are right away then to avoid any embarrassment or confusion it might be best to make it known from early on in the relationship. You might want to inquire about his age first before you tell him that you are 35 or 40 or 43 or whatever age you are. For some people getting this detail out of the way can help them to relax and enjoy themselves.

For some women the mystery of wondering, “Does he know my age or doesn’t he?” might be alluring and add to the mystery. For some men the differences in occupations, financial status, backgrounds, and lifestyles might make the age difference very obvious, but in other instances it might not. Sometimes the age difference will not become clear until the man and woman begin to talk more about themselves. For example, if she graduated from college when he was only 12 years old then it is easy for the man to do a quick mental calculation and discover that there is an age gap. Whether or not a woman tells a younger man her age right away or just assumes that he knows is really a personal choice and should be geared to the unique situation that she finds herself in.

If a woman thinks that the man does not know then she might want to give him the 411 but maybe she has not given him enough credit and he is instead very aware of the disparity that exists. If the age gap bothers you too much ladies then perhaps you need to re-evaluate whether this is a man you wish to date or not. Be aware that a date is just a date and it can either lead to other dates and potentially a relationship, or it can lead to friendship or it can remain exactly what it is- an enjoyable date and nothing more.

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