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Adult Children Accepting Your Choice of a Younger Man

What do you do if you have older children but decide that you want to date a younger man? Whether he is younger than your children, around their age or younger than you but still a few years older than them, it is not always easy to get your adult children to accept your decision. If you are inclined to be a little more passive and your children’s approval means a great deal to you then you are likely to keep the relationship quieter longer than if you are more self-confident and more in touch with your own needs.

First of all always remember that you do not require the permission of your adult children to date a younger man or to date any man for that matter! Just as your adult children are always telling you that they have to live their own life, now it is your turn to tell them the exact same thing about yourself. Be aware that hiding your younger man from your adult children gives them the edge and it says that you are not completely sure about the decision you have made for yourself. Making the decision to wait and see if the dating relationship develops into something more serious and then introducing your adult children to the new man is fine but don’t hide your younger man away as if you are embarrassed, or worse, ashamed, of him.

Dating a younger man when you have adult children will probably not be as big of an issue as it would have been when your children were teenagers or younger and still living at home but your adult children still love you and they want what is best for you. Nobody wants to see his or her mother get hurt, especially by a man who is considerably younger than her! Some adult children will be suspicious and will wonder what his intentions are (this is especially true if the older woman has money and the younger man does not) while others will be more relaxed and easygoing and will simply be happy that their mother is dating again and is happy.

Introduce your adult children to your younger man only once you are ready to do so and prepare both parties before you arrange a meeting. You might be surprised to discover that your adult children, despite their reservations approve of your choice of a new boyfriend very much.

Always be honest with your adult children but make it clear that you deserve love and happiness as much as anyone else. If you have only recently been devastated by divorce or the death of your spouse then your adult children might feel that you are vulnerable and might be worried that the new man will take advantage of you and your good heart. Let your adult children voice their concerns and allow this to open up the lines of communication. However do not be deterred from dating a younger man based on age alone or based on what your children have to say. Hear them out but then make your own decision. It’s your life after all so live it your way.

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