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Dating After Divorce- Explaining to Your Date that You are a Divorcee

The word divorcee is an old word that originally referred only to women whose "marriage ended in divorce, a legal dissolution of marriage before death of either spouse." When this word first started to be used it had very negative connotations both when it came to religious as well as cultural associations. In both North America as well as Europe the negativity that has surrounded being a divorcee has been readily dissipating since the 1960s. It is rare to even hear the word divorcee in our modern day society.

Divorce has become such a common occurrence that most people do not blink an eye when they meet another individual who tells them that they are divorced. There are plenty of people in our society today who have been divorced more than once and see no shame in it.

You do not have to tell a date anything about your marital status until you feel comfortable doing so. If your date tells you his marital status you may feel compelled to reciprocate or he may even inquire as to your situation. You can simply say that you are divorced and leave it at that and then at a later date if you feel the closeness developing between the two of you, then you can fill in the blanks and tell him the story of how you came to be divorced. Only do so once you are completely comfortable and never allow anyone to make you feel pressured to say more than you are ready to divulge about your life.

You in turn may have some concerns about dating a divorced man, and in particular a divorced man with children. One advantage of dating a divorced man is that like yourself he has already taken that proverbial "walk down the aisle" and has lived enough to make plenty of mistakes in the relationship arena. Hopefully he has learned from his past mistakes as hopefully you have as well. If he is one of those men who keeps on repeating the same mistakes over and over again then you might want to think twice about entering into a relationship with him. This might seem harsh but you do have your own heart and well being to think about and remember you suffered enough hurt from your own divorce and do not need to suffer anymore.

Realize that you must show patience when you begin to date again and realize also that not everyone you will encounter will be right for you. Some men are unfair in their views and think that while it is okay that they are divorced, they do not want to take a chance on a woman who has come from a failed marriage and especially a divorcee with kids. As opposed to wasting the time to educate people like this, realize that you will meet them and that you probably will not influence their views therefore move on to find men who are more open-minded and will see you for the wonderful, loving, giving person you are and will not get caught up in the label of divorcee.

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