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How Do I Introduce My Inter-Racial Date to My Parents

Not all parents look forward to the day that their son or daughter begins dating and even less are thrilled at the prospect of their child dating a bi-racial individual. Never spring information such as a bi-racial boyfriend or girlfriend on your parents without any prior warning. In other words do not just let your date show up unannounced at your door, especially if you are aware of your parents’ feelings regarding race.

It is best to find a quiet time when the two or three of you can talk and then tell your parents in a kind and thoughtful manner about the new person you are seeing. Emphasize your true feelings for the person you are dating and how important it is to you that your parents meet this person and accept him or her. Bear in mind that this information might come as a shock to one or both of your parents and they might need some time for it to sink in before they are able to talk over the situation with you in a clear and concise manner.

It is possible that your parents might initially say that they are all right with you dating a bi-racial individual but actually they not be pleased at all and might act less than supportive and comfortable when the individual comes over to visit. Most parents will make an attempt to be friendly and might invite your bi-racial date over for supper but the cultural differences will probably be very obvious to your parents and might give them a cause for concern.

While your parents need to do their part in understanding your situation, you must do your part as well. Bear in mind that your parents grew up in a different time then you and they were advised as young people to date members of their own race and not to stray outside of it. This was once the acceptable mode of thinking. For some individuals these ideas take root and play a strategic role in the rearing of their own children.

It is imperative to make certain that the lines of communication remain open between parents and child and that you both feel that you can talk openly and honesty about your feelings and thoughts. Understanding each other's points of view can go a long way to educating each other but that is only true if both parties are willing to discuss the situation and if compromise is possible.

In turn in order to evolve as a couple you must accept that you are breaking new ground and that you will not automatically alter the attitudes and mindsets of your parents. Even though you may feel that their ideas are antiquated, love them anyway but make sure they realize that you want to be with your new date and you want their to remain harmony in the family. Understanding every person's point of view will not change anyone but it will help to diffuse the situation.

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