So Secured My name is Kristen, I'm 16 years old and I suffer from anorexia. I began my eating disorder when I was 12. I started to lose weight and it just started too spiral out of control. It has gotten easier for me too talk about it, but it took me over a year to admit to anybody (including myself) that I was anorexic. It never occurred to me that I, who had always been so secure, would be the one in my family to become anorexic. I guess I started to get self conscious around the time I turned 11, when I still had all my baby fat and all my friends were loosing theirs. Also, I had felt like I wasn't good enough for my family. And that I wasn't accepted. I tried as hard as I could, to get the best grades I could, and be as nice as possible, but I never felt good enough. I started to lose a significant amount of weight after about three months of being anorexic. And my family would point out that I looked really thin. I loved that I was, but I hated hearing it. I never saw myself as being thin. I just saw myself as being too heavy. People in school would tell me I looked sick and my teachers would send me to the Guidance Counselor. When I was about thirteen and a half, my parents told me they'd contacted my local GP and that I was being referred to a psychiatrist. I was so mad at them. That's when I started bulimia and cutting myself. My parents would cry to me every night about how much I scared them. And I would say that I was sorry, but I never really was. After awhile of seeing my psychiatrist things just got worse. I had lost around twenty pounds from when I had started my anorexia. So at age 14, I was around 87 pounds 5'2". I could see that I was thin, but I didn't see what everyone else saw. Nobody really cared about me before I was anorexic. And at first the attention I got, I loved. I felt that I was noticed by my family and friends. But then, I wanted everyone to just leave me alone. I hated the attention after awhile and I wanted people to let me do what I had to do.
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