Road to Recovery Ok, how do I begin this. Well,here I go. Here I am my freshman year in high school dealing with normal teenage stuff. You know life, boys........... You get the picture. I had been criticized for my weight all my life. It never bothered me until I was introduced BIG TIME to something called "BODY IMAGE". You see, most of my life I wanted to "FIT IN". I grew up in so many neighborhoods and attended so many schools, so nothing seemed right. Because of my smarts, I enrolled into this program for "SMART KIDS", life's cool. The school I attended had a lot of girls wearing strapless, backless, let's just say inappropriate clothing. They always showed off their bodies to boys and hoped to become celebrities. I wanted a body like that, so, I sort of tried weird things. I tried various diets. I had tried starving myself a few years back but it caused me too much embarrassment. One diet worked pretty well, but after joining the marching band it ended up not working. I did anything to get the look I wanted, nothing worked. I had been told for a long time that beauty is only skin deep. LIKE I LISTENED. This might sound weird but a case of pneumonia in eighth grade made me think I was beautiful. How? I turned into a total monster. I really started to love myself until someone really close to me, (don't ask for who) said I was fat. That was where the trigger was pulled and I started. I started out barfing only 2 to 3 times a day. After a week I realized I had a problem and I told a friend but she couldn't really do anything about it, I continued. This went on for about 3 more weeks. I forced myself to vomit in the shower, where there would be a less likely chance I would get caught. I actually once burned my fingers in the shower with stomach acid. Then it just got out if control. Unlike most bulimics I didn't binge, I only purged. Well, I come from a family with high achievers. I was pushed through most of my life to DO something with it. But the opposite came out. I wanted to do something right. I decided, I will succeed in being SKINNY. Finally, it got out of control, I forced myself to throw up six times in two hours. That night, once became twice, twice became thrice, until it became six. I remember feeling weak crawling out of the bathroom and having trouble standing. Then I just collapsed on the bed and fell asleep instantly. I normally have trouble falling asleep. Then the next day the same thing happened except it was seven times in three hours. Also, I threw up when there was barely anything in my stomach. All I had was a cookie that morning and I went to the bathroom to throw it up. The only thing that came out was stomach acid. That was when my friend dragged me to get help. Now, I'm seeing a counselor and I'm doing much better. To tell the truth. This feels like quitting a drug. You keep getting cravings to do it more often. I've realized, it's normal for girls my age to be twenty pounds overweight. If you think you are overweight you might want to guess again. I tried the BMI calculator at OnHealth. I found out I'm more likely to be underweight than overweight. I've realized I would be able to do what I can do now if I start dieting. I dance, walk several miles everyday, bike, and blade. I am very active. To tell the truth. This nearly ruined my life. I have three cavities because of the stomach acid burning the enamel. At that point I hadn't had a single cavity since second grade. My stomach and intestines now have to work harder in digesting food which now leads to more upset stomach and bowel problems. Plus, the worst damage was scaring my friend when I told her I had a problem.
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