MamasHealth.com Home Addictions and Compulsions Bulimia Feelings Confused and Gullible Evil Habit Horrible Addiction I Can Not Control It I Quit Smoking Nose Bleed Over Eating Perfectionist Picky Eater Tried to be Perfect Twenty-Two Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Family and friends stories Help Me! I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	I tried to be Perfect No matter what I did, no matter how I tried, I was never perfect.  When I looked in the mirror and stared at that pitiful reflection, all I saw was a fat hopeless mess. Breakfast would come around.  I wouldn't eat.  I would sit at school feeling my stomach twist and convulse but I only told myself it was a pain heading towards perfection. My grandmother always said, "Beauty is pain". Ding!  Lunch would come.  I would sit and watch the others eat.  My stomach would churn and my head felt dizzy.  I would pinch my wrist if I considered to buy something to eat. Ding!  School's over and it's time to return to our homes.  Dinner would soon arrive and my mother would ask if I wanted something to eat.  I would say no, but when I saw what she cooked, smelled what came out of the oven, my body could no longer resist.  I would scarf down my meal.  My stomach would get sick and bloated.  I would go to the bathroom and stand before the mirror in my skin.  I was fat.  I was ugly.  I ate, how dare I do such a thing. So I would punish myself.  I would beat my thighs until they bruised.  I would snap a rubber band at my wrist until welts went up and down my arm. This went on for years.  All through middle school, all through high school.  I didn't have anorexia, because I wasn't freakishly thin.  I was considered average to others, but to me, I was obese. After my years in high school were over, I discovered the comfortable atmosphere of college.  I did lose the weight I wanted, but in a healthy way.  I realized how foolish I was in my past years.  Yes, there is a history of easy weight gain in my family, and so it's something I'm going to have to watch over, just not like how I used to. While I went through those trials, did I ever receive any help?  No. No one ever knew. I finally read about the dangers of anorexia and eating disorders and I finally felt some reality strike. Share your story	Featured Book Advertise on MamasHealth.com MamasHealth $500 Scholarship Your product featured on MamasHealth.com
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