MamasHealth.com Home Personal Mothers Stories A Mother Bulimia Battle Just the Right Size Missing Out On So Much My Evil Habit My Mom My Nightmare Recovery Story Survival Story Voice In My Mind What Is This Disease? Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Eating Disorder Family and friends stories Help Me! Herpes stories I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	Nightmare I am 37 years old. I became bulimic after the birth of my second child, which was five years ago. I have been thin all my life. When I was younger, my twenties were filled with dates, partying, and good times. I found it easy to simply not eat. I skipped meals to maintain my weight. I used to enjoy pigging out the day after a night on the town because I always starved myself the day before. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and I never lost it. I weighed 190 lbs. (I'm 5' 8") and was FREAKING out about it. I was 32, fat and ugly. One day I really pigged out on mexican food. I was so full that I felt like throwing up, so I did. I felt so empty! It was like I had erased my pigout. It was so easy. I started throwing up twice a day and quickly lost 40 lbs. Ironically, I cannot seem to get below 150 lbs. When I stick to a diet and do not throw up I lose weight. I just went 10 days without throwing up! That was a first. I lost 5 pounds. I blew it, and I have been throwing up 2-3 times a day for the past week. I would do anything to stop. It's unbelievably hard. I am very fit and I workout at least 4 times a week. I am a successful business woman and have been told by many that I'm a perfectionist. My friends always tell me how good I look. If they only knew! I think I am posting this because I just need to tell someone. I have never told anyone. It's my shameful secret. I just want to weigh 140 pounds and do it by not throwing up. It drives me insane that I can't seem to control myself. I often worry about overstressing my heart from electrolyte imbalance. Each day I say, "Today I will eat healthy and not throw up" but I blow it every day. Share your story	Sign up for our Email Newsletter For Email Marketing you can trust
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