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Purging

Hi, my name is Jessica, and I'm 17 years old. I began to purge at age 12, when my so called friend showed me how to stick my fingers down my throat when I was sick.

I started to do it a lot to stay out of school because I got picked on a lot, and lets face it, no one is going to be in
school vomiting. After awhile I would look in the mirror and notice that I looked a little thinner. I still didn't have to go to school if I kept throwing up.

Well, I told my mom that I felt better after the school year had ended. I was just starting high school then.

I lost my boyfriend of 2 years and my mom keeps driving me crazy. I don't know why, but we are always in a competition with our weight and looks. She always tries to look skinner or younger than what she is. She's always' trying fit into my clothes..size 3 or 5.

Soon after school started I pretended to get sick and stay sick for so long that I got home schooled. Next year came around and the same thing happened again.

Things have gotten much worse over the past 2 years with me and my mother. We are still in competition with each other even though now we are 4 states away from each other.

I am 17 now, and scared to gain a pound, and angry with my self that I can't lose one. I'm scared that one day my heart will give out and I might die from this disease if it keeps going. I know that I need help. But I don't know where to find it.

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