My Hell What happened? When did it happen? Why did my routine lifestyle become a real hell? Why am I doing this to myself? Neither can I understand, nor spot asking myself these questions. This repeats every given day and night. I go to my cold bed whereas my brain is feverishly working. It's trying to find the clue to the misery. Nothing.Then I go back to the beginning. I'm a normal 12 year old girl. I wasn't happy, but I was quite satisfied with my life. Then my older brother (three and a half years older than me) enters the age of puberty. I think that is how everything started, ''Oh look at those legs, what an ass!" It's being repeating to me every day, every hour, every minute. I have always been somewhat fat, but definitely not that much. So, now I've decided to take care of my weight Here I am buying a book. I've never read anything about the division of food. I have found so many new things here. Foods that should not be consumed together, are uninterruptedly mixed in my everyday life. This book is like the Bible for me. Together with the division of the food, I start playing sports. I play basketball, volleyball, I even got use to running in the nearby park. The summer holidays come. My mother, brother, and father are at work from 7 a.m. to 2-3 am. Excellent. Whatever I practice is not enough. I started playing tennis. My program is completed now. In the morning I go jogging. For breakfast I have 2 eggs and a half tomato. I play a game of tennis. Lunch is solettii. Another game of tennis. For dinner I have a half of a cucumber and a piece of cheese, afterwards, basketball with some friends until 10-10.30 pm. Oh God! I'm in great shape. These are the most wonderful days in my life. We start school. I look just perfect. Everybody is all over me. But since the beginning of the year I have put on some weight. It's already summer now. I work as a cashier on the beach with boys 4-5 years older than me. Everything comes to me like the previous summer, but this time it isn't as healthy as before. All day long I'm sitting under the hot sun. In the evening, I'm too scared to put the usual solettii in my mouth. It's a terrible combination, hunger and physical exhaustion. Today, I'm on the beach without an umbrella. It's one of the hottest days of the year. I have only drunk 0.51 milk for the whole day. It's 12.30, I'm at home. My mum has prepared fried potato's and steaks, and on top of it there is an enormous plate of salad. I give it up. I go to eat. Now I have some pieces of tomato's in my stomach. I feel guilty. I wake up it's 3.10 a.m. and I start vomiting. I'll never forget the feeling when your stomach is about to erupt. My parents are worried. The next day my mum wants to have a talk with me. The new school year begins. It's my first year in the best English Language School in the city, my dream. During the winter I start a habit of gorging myself. I have put on a lot of weight. I'm 75 kg and 1.72m. I'm not fat, but large. Depression after depression. There isn't a day when I don't feel my stomach ache from stuff. This school year passes, then comes the summer. I start working but I don't want to. I hate this job. I don't want anybody to see me like this, FAT and UGLY! TO BE CONTINUED ... |
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Health Topic: Tummy Tuck Surgery: What No One Tells You Medicare Part D: Everything you need to know How to choose the best weight loss program How to deal with a stubborn husband or boyfriend How to support a family on one income |
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