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My Bulimia Story

It's hard to know exactly when it all began. I have terrible memories of being at the dinner table as a toddler. A move to a foreign country at the aged of 11 unsettled me a lot. I was always the dumbest kid in the class as well.

I became bulimic when I was 14. What triggered it was when my mother told me I was "getting very fat" in a changing room when I was having underwear fitted.

I liked my food, hated structured mealtimes and began to binge and purge in secret. I'm 20 now. My teeth hurt when I eat sweets. I went to counseling 4 different times, but it upset me. I don't think I'll go back to it next term.

The woman was nice and sympathetic, but she just didn't understand, and all that counselor-type tone really pissed me off. She was a nice lady, but all I could focus on in the sessions were the trees outside or the patch of hair on her shin that she forgot to wax.

I went to my doctor. A scottish man. He was more down to earth. He prescribed anti- depressants for me. I have been taking them for eight weeks. I believe they're working. I think, I hope.

I don't think I'll ever totally recover. I catch myself hiding any sweet biscuit wrappers, a habit ingrained by years of secret eating.

But, I hope that I'll learn to live life with it, as fully as I can. Don't email me. I set up this email purely to send this, and want it to get lost in cyber space...but good luck to everyone out there.

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