My Knuckles are Red

I have been bulimic for about 7-8 years now. I am not happy or proud of it. I was chubby when I was a little girl. I have always been self-conscious about my body. I still am.

I saw my first sister, who used to be huge, become the smallest I have ever seen her. I thought it was amazing and she looked great. I didn't think of ever doing it though, until I had seen my other sister doing the same thing.

So, one day I started doing it to keep the weight off. I was successful and it made me happy. I felt better about myself and more confident. But one day I did it so much that I almost killed myself. I almost ruptured my appendix. Luckily I got to a hospital in time to take it out. The doctor told me that I could have died if I had come later.

That day was the scariest day of my life. I was in severe pain and I thought I was going to die. I have not recovered from the horrible scare.

I still have this ongoing disease. I don't know if I will ever stop. I feel I can't. I am always dehydrated and tired. My teeth is feeling the effects. My knuckles are red and hard from sticking my hand in my throat. I am depressed. I wouldn't ever recommend to anyone to do it. It's a terrible disease to have.

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