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Horrible Addiction

I am an 18 year old girl, and I have a horrible addiction called Bulimia. I binge eat all the time, and I either abuse laxatives or I just puke.

It started Thanksgiving of 2006, when I was in a mental hospital. My depression was so bad, and I hated myself so much, that it seemed like it was my only option. It was an on again, off again cycle.

I was always either fasting or on a very strict diet. I trained my stomach so that it just would not be hungry. When I got out, I was still throwing up, and I am still doing it today.

It's really hard to talk about it. The only people I told was my best friend and my boyfriend. They tried to help me, but I'm not ready to accept the help.

I'm not proud of what I do. I'm really ashamed of it. I know what can happen, and I understand what is happening, and what I'm doing to myself. Like I said, I need to heal, but at my own pace and when I am ready.

I would give anything to love myself and be happy with what I see. It's just so hard. I want girls to hear my story so that they can learn from me and my mistakes and try to love themselves while they are still young.

Don't let your obsession get the best of you. It's not worth it.

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