I'm Not Healthy I guess you can say that I am not healthy. I throw up almost everything I eat, and I have no idea what is going on with my body in the process of doing it. I am 17 years old, and I have been bulimic for about 6 months. That doesn't seem like a long time, but those 6 months feel like 6 years. I was never fat or even close to it. I have always been short and in shape, but I guess I saw all those tall, thin, girls who could eat whatever they wanted and got extremely jealous. I still do that, and it kills me every time to see a really pretty girl because I always think, "why can't I look like that." Also, the town I live in is a trap, full of drugs, parties, and drinking, and I have fallen into all of that. I am so tired of the life that I have been living. My parents are disappointed in me and practically think that I am a failure. I'm always stressed out, wondering if my pants are going to fit me the next day. And on top of that, I am losing friends because they think that I have changed, and I have, more than I think I know. Bulimia is a black hole that, once you have entered, it is extremely hard to get out, and if you do get out okay, you are so lucky. I pray to God that someday I can say I am recovered from this horrible thing, because all I want to do is live my life and not have to worry about my weight all the time. At the point I am going, I could end up in the hospital, and that is what scares me the most. All I can do is to try and get the help I need. But, I know the best help comes from my heart and the actual need within me to stop this monster. |
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