My Greatest Fear

I was 6 years old when my aunt asked me what my greatest fear was. I told her it was "to be FAT! " Now why would a 6 year old possess such a fear is puzzling to me, but that in itself explains the insanity of an eating disorder.

My life, for so long was miserable, pointless, and a struggle every day. Just now, I have finally felt what it feels like to live. But this didn't come all at once... I had to take action. I had to get to a point in my life where I was so desperate that there was no other option but to seek help.

I feel like every eating disorder story is the same. We do a lot of binging, puking, starving, exercising, etc. and what not. War stories are irrelevant and get old after some time.

I found in my experience that I get better and begin to recover when I seek spiritual help! Now please don't get me wrong, my dietician, is my best friend. Outside help is crucial in recovery from this illness, but I knew that I needed God to overcome the powerlessness I had over food.

Today, I find myself full of joy, hope, and not obsessing about food. The obsession has been lifted! I continue to see my eating disorder team for accountability purposes, but I find the most joy comes from helping other girls with this illness and seeing them recover!

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