It started when I was 8 years old

When I was just 8 years old, my life headed down a spiral of loneliness and fear. One day my cousins and I went swimming.  I was a normal size for an 8 year old but something in my head kept telling me I was fat! Too big! Disgusting!

A few years went by and I was a freshmen in high school. High school is suppose to be fun and exciting right? Well, for me it was all consumed by the disease anorexia. 

It started simple by eating less or skipping a meal. Soon it lead to going weeks without eating anything but chicken broth and orange juice. My weight dropped from 120 to 95 for a 5 foot 6 frame.

I told my grandparents (they adopted me at at 5 weeks old) I was fine, not to worry. Until one day they found me passed out in the yard. So, I was admitted to a mental hospital eight times. When my grandparents realized it wasn't helping me at all, I was then admitted to Remuda Ranch at 17 years old.

I'm now 21 and the only treatment that has helped me cope with this is disease is my family. I realize how much love my Ma and Papa have for me. They are two very special people!

This disease will stay with me for life, but I have the ability to control it.  I have days where I can eat a good healthy meal and not feel guilty then there are days where I can't take anything but water. 

The best advice I can offer anyone who has this disease is to ignore the mental negativity of the disease. That is where it all starts, but it can end, you just have to fight like hell to save your own life. And remember you're not the only one who lives with this lonely disease. We are all fighting, so please don't ever give up my beautiful sisters.

Sunshine from AZ

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