Bulimic and Depressed I'm not sure how my eating disorder started. I just remember being 12 years old and weighing 35kg. Which may not seem like much, but I couldn't even look in the mirror without bursting out crying. "I'm so fat!" I would complain to my boyfriend. "You're not fat at all" my boyfriend would reply. It didn't help.Things just seemed to be getting worse everyday. My eating disorder continued for about 6 months. And by this time I was suffering with depression. I had to think about everyone else around me at the same time. My boyfriend was angry at me, he hated me for being bulimic. I started cutting my wrists. It was the only thing that made me feel better. It felt like everyone had turned against me, I thought I was alone. It seemed to me that no-one cared about me, and I thought if I was to kill myself would anyone care? I carried on being bulimic. I didn't want my boyfriend to dump me. "I'm not bulimic, I'm all better." I would lie to him. But things got worse, he saw the cuts on my wrist and we began fighting a lot. "He just doesn't understand" I would say to my best friend. I had no-one. Later on my boyfriend found out I was still bulimic, but he didn't yell at me, he just said he wanted to help. I cryed everyday at school. And school wasn't any good either. I was failing every subject. But that didn't matter. I tryed to focus on not throwing up. But I was addicted. My depression got worse. I started smoking (nearly 13yr). Things got worse at home, with me and my mom fighting all the time. I didn't have anyone to talk to. By my 13 birthday I had quit smoking (which made my depression even worse). I was still bulimic. Today I am 13 years and 5 months. I am still depressed, but I am getting help for that. And I am still bulimic. I have found it impossibly to give up. I weigh 30kg and my weight is dropping fast. I am on the road to recovery. My advice to anyone suffering with the same problem is to get help while you can. Do not leave it to long. Bulimia is deadly. I have been to the doctor, and my results were that if I didn't stop I would die, although I may not make it, I feel better knowing my story may help other people. And always know that there is people that love you and care about you.
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