Living with Herpes

Well, my boyfriend and I got tested for STDs at the same time and we were both told that we were negative for everything.  Little did we know, they only test you for herpes if you have visible sores on your skin.

Months later, my boyfriend had his first "outbreak." It didn't phase me because I trusted him and I felt that it was nothing.  He was very forward and up front with me about everything which lead me to further trust him.

When he went to the clinic he was told that it looked like herpes, and with that, I got tested and we both were positive. 

Both of us has had previous long term relationships with other people, and honestly we didn't know where it came from.

I looked at it as a blessing because even though I didn't want herpes, I also didn't want to face it alone. And because there was no way for either of us to determine who gave it to the other, we were not blaming each other and we were kind of like a support system. 

To my dismay we recently broke up. I honestly think that it was because of this very situation. He is now looking to blame someone. It is hurtful because I am alone. 

There were times that I felt so overwhelmed because I'm only 21 and the only thing I ever wanted was a family. Now I feel that since we broke up I have no hope. I feel that I won't ever find anyone else, and no one will accept me with this virus. 

Just being real, I know how I would react if someone told me that they had it, and expected me to still have sex with them. I'm trying to get through this by talking to close friends and going to church, but even that sometimes is hard. I'm struggling...It's very hard to deal with this virus.

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