Unperfect and Unhappy I am 25 years old, and I have had an eating disorder since I was 13. I modeled for a while, was the perfect cheerleader, the perfect tennis player, the perfect student, and the perfect beauty pageant contestant. Not to mention everyone has always told me how perfect I looked. I am married and although my husband knows about my eating disorder, he doesn't seem to notice or talk about my bad days (which are every day). He is out of town right now and he still doesn't even ask me about how I am doing. I do especially bad when no one is around. I am a school teacher, so you think, I would practice what I preach to my students, which is to love themselves for who they are. If only I could love myself for who I am. Instead of having this need to be more perfect. With summer here, I am worse and am finding it hard to deal with my feelings. I lie to doctors and stay in the weight range where they want me to. I always make it sound like things are great and that I am doing better. If they only knew how many times I binge and purge a day. When I am not eating to purge (which is every meal), I abuse my ritilin and drink to feel full so that I don't eat. It is sad how everything has come to this. You would think I have it all a great job, which I love, a wonderful husband, a nice home, and still the looks that every one says is perfect. But if they only knew how unperfect and unhappy I really am. If I could only be honest and tell what I really feel. If only that day would ever come! If only I could have the chance to take back the day everything started to happen. I often wish I could control the bulimia that is still controlling me after all these years. But no one knows.
|
|
||||||
 |
Hot Topics: Domestic Violence: A pre-existing condition? Serena: The wanna be vegetarian Personal Story: How I recovered from my Eating Disorder Mama wants to help: Food Bank programs and shelter assistance Lucy Goes Green: Talk dirty to me What no one will tell you about tummy tuck surgery Mama's favorite item of the week: Trees for the Future
Win a Gift Bag filled with Goodies from Stonyfield
|
||||||
|
Information obtained from MamasHealth.com™ should not be used as a substitute for professional medical care or attention by a qualified practitioner, nor should it be inferred as such. Always check with your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about a specific condition.
Use of this web site constitutes acceptance of the Terms
of Use. ©2000 - 2009 MamasHealth, Inc.™. All rights reserved |
||||||
|
By submitting your story to MamasHealth.com you hereby grant us permission to publish it and edit it for length and content, as necessary, without monetary compensation. In return you will receive a short bio and link to your website or other contact information. |
||||||
