Binging when I am alone, Understanding my binging disorder, Binging and feeling bloated

I Just Snapped!

Over the past few weeks, I have taken to binge eating, but only when I am alone. I don't know why I've suddenly become like this.

I used to be quite chubby when I was younger. I went through a brief stage of bulimia during my GCSE's before turning vegetarian in an attempt to achieve a healthy weight (not saying that meat-eaters are unhealthy or anything).That was about 2 years ago. Since then I've generally eaten fairly healthy.

Near the end of January, the afternoon after my Mums birthday, I just snapped. Eating the rest of the cake (probably equivalent 3 slices) and then raiding the cupboards for chocolate and crisps.

Now when I 'binge' it's not really what you'd consider binging in the traditional sense. I tend to eat things like rice and oat cakes, rye crisp bread and a bowl of Weetabix and Special K.

That might even sound funny to some, but I'm still eating to the point of feeling sick. I have been panicking recently about putting on weight and my appearance in general.

I feel really weak-willed, upset and annoyed with myself after each binge. Last week I was doing fairly well. Going from Monday to Thursday without splurging on anything, but last night I did it again. Eating an entire box of Fru-Grains, 2 bowls of Shredded Wheat, 2 Kit-Kats, several Jaffa cakes and a plate full of chips leftover from a take-a-way meal. I threw-up what I could (which wasn't a lot).

When it happens, it's like a pathologically, insatiable hunger, and afterwards I'm always left tired, shaking and all watery eyed. I'm so disgusted with myself. I've become bloated and irritable and can't seem to have fun anymore.

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