In my first marriage, I was very comfortable. I slowly gained weight, but it did not bother me because my family life was good. I was a devoted wife and a loving mother.  Thinking of my own body image would be selfish, so I thought!

After being devastated by a divorce, I punished myself by barely eating. I was so mad at myself for not remaining desirable enough to keep my husband.  I had times where I felt dizzy.  I would force myself to eat a bland baked potatoe so that I would not faint.  The smell of food made me nauseated. 

I got down to a size 0 waist. Three years ago, I married again. My husband is wonderful. He does not understand my intense fear of being fat. I threw a fit because he took me out to eat Mexican food. Naturally, I pigged out during the meal. Afterwards, I cried and screamed that he was trying to sabotage me. He assures me that I still look beautiful to him, but I know my clothes are getting a little snug.

I am so scared of gaining weight, because I already lost one husband to a thinner, more attractive woman.  I refuse to let that happen again.