MamasHealth.com Home Self-Esteem Stories Anorexia Nervosa Becoming Perfect Big and Fat Body Issues Boredom and Stress Bulimic and Depressed Bulimia in Silence Bullied All The Time Cruel Everyday Is A New Day Everyone is Different Getting All The Attention Girl Who Is Insecure I am Better I am So Fat! I Feel Worthless I Just Snapped! I was Skinny In Big Trouble Inner Sustenance Lacks Self-esteem Lost One Husband Low Self-esteem My Body Image My Food Story My Reflection My Story No Life of My Own Not Skinney Enough Our Plan Remains A Dream Start A New Life Stick Thin Still Too Fat Struggling to be Thin The Person I am This Is Madness Truly Care About Me Unperfect and Unhappy Watching Everyone What I See When Will This End? Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Eating Disorder Family and friends stories Help Me! Herpes stories I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	What I See I am an 18 year old college student. I am a really funny laid back person. I am known as the clown of the clan. I am always the one joking around and making people laugh. I use to be very active. I played varsity soccer, ice hockey, and tennis in high school. I tried out for these sports during my first year in college and I did not make it. I think this is what triggered my eating disorder this time. Before college, I had an eating disorder. I have had the eating disorder since I was 14. I have a sister who is three years older than me. I was always compared to her. She was the smart, pretty, driven one and I was the one that had her athletic ability. I guess you could say that the constant reminder of this really wore on me and I needed some control.  Eating was really the only thing I could control. It started with me restricting my diet. During school, I would not eat until dinner and when I did, it would only be a very small portion. I would skip as much as possible. When school was not in session, I would go for bike rides or runs during lunch, so I would conveniently miss the meal. I got a lot of exercise in during my three season year. I was constantly running and lifting. That is when the weight just fell off. My parents never really noticed my weight because my closet did not include very many revealing outfits. I was a hoodie and sweat pants girl all the way. Sophomore year was really bad, I started the whole binge/purge scene and discovered the wonders of diet pills and laxatives. I was losing weight but not feeling the greatest about myself. I can remember looking in the mirror and just being disgusted with the reflection. I don't think there was one day in high school that I was completely satisfied with what I saw. The following summer, I ended up spending a summer with my aunt who was a recovered bulimic and was put into the hospital. I struggled with it off and on during the rest of my high school year. Coming into college I wanted a new start. I began school with a good attitude and all was good. But the stress of freshman year and dealing with a whole new assortment of people really began to bare on me. I fell right back into my old habits. I am still suffering with bulimia today. Every day is a constant struggle to get better and to be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. I probably will struggle with this for the rest of my life. Many go through this, so I know I am not alone, but it is only going to get harder. It is a day by day process. I take each one as it comes and hope for the best! Share your story	Sign up for our Email Newsletter For Email Marketing you can trust
	Hot Topics: Domestic Violence: A pre-existing condition? Serena: The wanna be vegetarian Personal Story: How I recovered from my Eating Disorder Mama wants to help: Food Bank programs and shelter assistance Lucy Goes Green: Talk dirty to me How to avoid Swine Flu What no one will tell you about tummy tuck surgery Mama's favorite item of the week: Trees for the Future Foods for weight loss Win a Gift Bag filled with Goodies from Stonyfield
	Information obtained from MamasHealth.com™ should not be used as a substitute for professional medical care or attention by a qualified practitioner, nor should it be inferred as such. Always check with your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about a specific condition. Use of this web site constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Use. Contact us: PO Box 2170, Pasadena, CA 91102-2170 ©2000 - 2009 MamasHealth, Inc.™. All rights reserved
	By submitting your story to MamasHealth.com you hereby grant us permission to publish it and edit it for length and content, as necessary, without monetary compensation. In return you will receive a short bio and link to your website or other contact information.