| | I feel like this is something that I really want to share and write about. I'm 20 years old and for the last six years I have been suffering from tenancies towards bulimia nervosa. I have not been officially diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure that I could classify myself as being bulimic. It's funny because I didn't realize it until it got to become so serious. My hair thinned, my skin was blue and I was constantly cold. My hair has never been the same since.(I now have extensions) It was then that I discovered that if I stuck my two fingers down my throat to induce vomiting, I could literally have my cake and eat it. I cannot believe how wrong this notion is. I am a very bright, intelligent, girl. My family is amazing. I come from a privileged background. I achieved straight A's throughout school. I'm getting the college degree I want at an Ivy League University. I am excelling beyond belief. I'm getting the chance to study abroad next year. WHY do I do this to myself? After this period of starvation, I managed to regain the weight and now I weigh 126 pounds. I didn't make myself sick for a few years. But I have always been plagued by my obsession to be skinnier and more perfect. When I was 18, I gained about 12 pounds, due to stress in my final year of school. I couldn't get over how big I was. I fasted to get the weight off and went back to 126 pounds. I stabilized at 126 pounds through my first year of college. I would very seldom throw up during this time. Very rarely. Everyday I wake up and pledge that this will be the last day that I will vomit. I've had to permanently move away from home to help curtail these tenancies, but it doesn't stop there. I really want to be 98 pounds before college...
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