My eating disorder, how I got attention through my eating disorder, my eating disorder was a result of me wanting attention

Getting All The Attention

I always wanted the attention my sister was getting, though the attention I got was different.

It started after my twin sister started getting all the attention, and everything was always about her, for example, she'd lost weight or she'd just gotten the highest mark in her class (something I never really achieved). I started feeling so left out, because no one paid attention to me anymore.

When standing next to my sister, I would feel fat and ugly. Even though we're identical twins, she was always the one getting the compliments and she was the favorite one out of the two of us.

Because I felt so left out. I started hurting myself. I turned to drugs, and yet no one really noticed, because they were so caught up in my sisters "perfect life".

One day, I got so irritated about how my life was going I just quit taking drugs. I became normal again.

While sitting down and having dinner with my parents and sister, my parents start talking about how I should become more like my sister. That bothered me, but not as much as when they said I was becoming fat, and that my sister is prettier than me.

After that day, I would go to the bathroom everyday after eating, and vomit everything I'd just eaten, plus I exercised for about 3-4 hours a day. I started feeling good.

One day my dad told me I looked thinner. I decided that I would stop making myself sick, but I couldn't stop. I would automatically have to go to the toilet and vomit. I was losing all control of my body. I became so scared that I started having panic attacks. I couldn't turn to anyone because they already thought I was so messed up, and going to a doctor meant that my parents would have to find out.

As the months went by, I became so skinny. People started asking me how I had lost so much weight. I started making up lies about changing my eating style.

One day it got so bad, that I became unconscious, and had to be taken to the hospital. That's when the doctor told my parents about my eating disorder, and that I could have died. When I woke up, I found my mom and my sister sitting near my bed crying. I knew the reason why, so I didn't bother to ask.

Five months later, which is now, I'm back to normal. Now people are so careful around me, and look at me, and treat me differently. They think if they look at me too long, or say anything, I would shatter or something would happen. So, everyone around me is now treating me like I am some kind of disabled or crazy person.

I guess I got the attention that I'd wanted, though not really the way I wanted it. My weight is back to normal. I see my doctor twice every month.

Becoming bulimic or anorexic for attention does not work, trust me. Don't do it. My life is even more messed up now, because of the way people are treating me. If you're feeling left out, talk to some one about it.

Share your story