Bullied All The Time First of all, where do I start? As a little girl, I thought I was born lucky: Had a great upbringing, had two great parents and I was extremely outgoing, social, and full of confidence. At school, I was always talkative and was incredibly friendly and confident. However, this was all about to change. It didn't matter how friendly or polite I was towards everyone. I started getting bullied, emotionally, verbally and physically at the age of 10 years and I didn't have any friends, because everyone hated and teased me and the confusing thing was that I didn't even know why. When leaving primary school, I thought great. Great, because I could start all over and make new friends. Even when I did get bullied at primary, I still managed to hold on to both my confidence and self-esteem. However, what I believed that was to be a fresh start at secondary school turned into despair. The bullying had returned. It first started out with rumors about me being passed, a rumor in which every single person had started bullying and teasing me about, and nobody wanted to be my friend as a result. It basically didn't matter how friendly I was, everyone still bullied and hated me. This got to be too much for me. My schooling began to suffer. I lost both my confidence and self esteem, and whenever I communicated with everyone, whether it was with a teacher or student I could not make eye contact. It wasn't that I was scared of my fellow human beings, it was because I was severely bullied. I was bullied because of how I looked and because of one of my main features: my eyebrows. I felt so alone and isolated. If I told a teacher that I was being bullied they wouldn't listen or they would believe the bullies over me. So, I was left to just deal with everything on my own, something that I could do as a young, vulnerable teenager. Four years into Secondary school and nothing had changed. I had no friends or no one that I could talk to. I still had no confidence and a low self-esteem. I felt ostracized and depressed. I began to develop a deep hatred for myself and started having negative thoughts, even wishing that I was dead. I also felt that I was being picked on by the teachers. The teachers were always was so hard on me and I worked in very hard in class, yet they never gave me any credit for it. I was always criticized for not contributing to class discussions, yet there were so many people in the class who never contributed, it wasn't just me. They would either talk throughout the lesson or they would just sit there with their mouths shut, but did they ever get criticized for not contributing? No. It was always me. I felt like an easy target for teachers, just because I was quiet. It was not fair because I hadn't done anything wrong. The only reason I would never contribute was because every time I did, other classmates would laugh at me or they would tease me outside the lesson, which really knocked my confidence even further. Every teacher I had in my subjects made me feel like a failure and an absolute nobody. They had always singled me out. I started getting really stressed out and extremely depressed, I felt like a social misfit. I went on to pass nine GCSE'S but nothing changed. I started making new friends, but I was still depressed and felt lonely and empty inside. I had suffered from stress for more than 22 months and feelings of sadness for five years, and as a result I started suffering from tummy aches and headaches and really severe insomnia, as it had gotten to be too much for me to handle. I spoke to a teacher about this, who was very understanding and helpful. I was advised to attend life puncture session, in which I did, which was very helpful. Right now, I am still continuing to work on my confidence and self esteem as, these things take time. I have so many friends now and I have gained my communication skills again.
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