Bulimia, Boredom, stress and emotional upset



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Boredom, Stress and Emotional Upset

I can't quite pinpoint when my bulimia first started. I think it must have been at a girl's school at the age of 12 or 13.

All of my friends were naturally thin, as is my mum and younger sister, and I'm not. I'm not fat or overweight, I'm just taller and a bigger build. No matter what I did, I just couldn't get as slim as I wanted, and this is still the case today.

Over the past 11 years I have binged and purged everyday, then once a week, then not at all, and then I'll start doing it everyday again.

Recently, I have started doing it again more and more. Once a week has turned into 3 times a week, and I know it will start being everyday, unless I do something to stop myself.

I exercise 4 to 5 times a week if I can, and social events are sometimes cancelled if they interfere with going to the gym. As long as I don't become too obsessed with exercise. Exercise is the best thing I can do to binge and purge less, as it makes me feel good about my body and takes up my time...rather than sitting around eating to make myself sick!

Boredom is definitely one reason why I do it, as is stress and emotional upset. I suppose it does make me feel more in control of myself if other things in my life aren't going right.

Recently, I have started getting really scared that I am seriously damaging my body. I haven't noticed anything physically different, but there is a niggling fear at the forefront of my mind constantly.

I really hope I haven't hurt myself too much, and I am trying to stop. I just need to come to terms with how I look and start to love my body once and for all!

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