Not Ever!

It all started when I was 16. I was in the year of 2007. I weighed around 178 and 180 pounds. I was only four feet, eleven inches.

I started seeing all the other girls in my school and they were all skinny. I wanted to be like them, so I began throwing up everything I ate.

Nobody knew about the throwing up. I told my parents that I was on the Special K Diet, but behind there backs I was lying. I would eat and eat and then I would make myself throw up.

I began losing weight, after awhile it became addicted. I would throw up everything, but the thoughts in my head was how people use to make fun of me. Calling me names, such as, fat girl. After that when I would see myself in the mirror, I would see myself as being fat.

I would think to myself, what's wrong with me? My greatest fear of being fat had come back. I would stop eating anything and I would still make myself throw up. This happened for several months, from February to June or July. During those months I lost 64 pounds. I weighed in at 114 pounds. My ribs would stick out of my hip bone. I went from a size 15 to a size 3, but why was I still seeing myself as being fat. I then realized that I was going through an eating disorder.

I wasn't sure who to tell. My parents would ask me what was wrong with me, but I was scared to tell them what was going on and then I finally told one of my best friends. She was crying, telling me that I had to get over this. I told my parents what was going on. They didn't take it very well. My mom said, why would you lie to me after I had asked you so many times? I told her I was scared.

Everyone around me were so worried. I decided to start eating healthier and not throwing up.

I am 17 and I weight 121 pounds. I have been eating healthier, but once in awhile I get depressed. I think to myself, lets not go down that road anymore.

I have a good boyfriend that is helping me through this. I have been in recovery for 3 months, and there is no way I'm ever going back down that rough road. Not ever!

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