Bulimia, Anorexic then Bulimic, Losing 20 years to Bulimia

Math Teacher

I am a 58 year-old middle school math teacher, I have taught for 35 years.

My first year in college in 1967-68, I suppose that I was anorexic. Back then, of course, nothing like that was even heard of. I wanted to stay slim, so I basically starved myself, while maintaining a 4pt.

My Mother died, unexpectedly in May of 1968, further traumatizing me. I discovered, on my own, that I could eat all that I wanted, if I would then force myself to purge and that's when it all began. I kept it all hidden, but my life was basically consumed, so to speak, with this horrible problem for over 20 years of my life.

I kept a job, but spent huge amounts of money on food, eating vast quantities, then throwing it up. Needless to say, my teeth were more or less destroyed. I dated several men, had some intense relationships, but never married, I guess that my nasty little habit was more important to me.

No one helped me, no one knew, my family thought that I was on drugs. My behavior was eratic, I couldn't stay in one place for very long. I spent all of those years in misery, not knowing what was wrong with me, not knowing where to turn, and I really felt like no one cared.

I met a new guy in 1990 and I thought that I was in love, I stopped the binging and purging and haven't done it since then. When we broke up four years later, I asked my doctor if he would prescribe me an antidepressant, and he did, I think that that probably helped me more than anything.

My front teeth have all be crowned, I have several root canals, receding gums and worn down enamel on all of the rest. I could go on and on about those 20 years, it was like I was in some vacuum. I didn't mature mentally or emotionally, I feel like I have lived three different lives--pre-bulimia, bulimia, now post-bulimia. I really feel like I lost those 20 years when I was bulimic. I feel a little bitter toward my family for not even trying to help. I had a father, step-mother, two sisters, plus many close aunts and uncles, no one tried to help me at least find some help.

I would like to get some counseling, still, and I may. If you suspect that someone you know and care about might be having this same problem, please, get them to seek help before it totally ruins their health and life.

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