You Are Perfect On January 1st, I was thirteen years old. I was at the perfect height and weight (115lbs) and was growing up beautifully. I was happy, funny, and I enjoyed everything from food to friends to activities. But my New Year's resolution was to lose a little weight, just a little, so that I would weigh 100lbs. Well, I did it, and I was very happy and proud of myself. But then, I kept thinking to myself that if I stopped 'dieting', then I would become fat. I began to eat very little, but I would never skip meals, as I cherished the small amounts that I did eat. Months moved into March and April, and I began to be very miserable, I was weak, unhappy, and depressed. My friends seemed to be uninterested in me, and my family made remarks that told me how worried they were. About one month later in May 2008, my mother confronted me in my room and told me about anorexia nervosa. I was shocked. She told me of its symptoms (some of which I had) and how people have died from this. I became frightened, but would not admit that I had anorexia. So my mom weighed me. I weighed 82lbs. Immediately after she left, I looked myself in the mirror good and hard, and I finally realized what I had done to myself. I was STARVING myself. I was slowly deteriorating. I broke down in an ocean of tears and hated myself for what I had done. My mother took me to the doctor and the doctor told me that I did not have anorexia (I now believe that I did), and that in order for me to gain weight, I needed to eat more. So, reluctantly, I did. I stuffed myself at dinner, which was slowly working. I was gaining about 1 pound per week. I wanted faster results, so I ate entire tubs of ice cream every night. I began gaining 1.5 to 2 pounds a week. I am now 100 pounds and happy. My selfesteem is much higher than what it was. Thank you to all who are there for me and to all the other anorexics out there: WHY DO IT WHEN YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE? |
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