I Hate You!

I hate you so much! Although I am only 14, you controlled my life for one year.

You made me push away the people who I loved the most, the people who always cared for me and helped me, and for this I hate you. It's true, I did need you once in my life. I needed you to make me feel good about myself, to make me feel skinny, but while you were doing this you were also making me very ill and I didn’t realize it.

When my mum decided to get me medical help, I used you to cry. The truth was, I didn’t want to let go of you, I didn’t want to turn fat and I thought that without you I would.

Anorexia, you made me so angry and you made me feel isolated from my friends for so long. You made me lie to them, that way I didn’t have to go out with them or sleep at their houses. You also told me not to tell anyone how I felt. You taught me that I meant nothing to this world and that no one cared about me. I have learnt since saying goodbye to you that this isn’t true.

The truth is my mum, my dad, and my friends do love me for who I am and they always will. I understand now that I need to eat and that eating healthier makes me look good, you just made me look tired and weak.

Anorexia, I wish you were never in my life but you were, and the truth is I do miss you, but I’m better off without you. I will always feel good about myself and never let you control my mind again.

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