MamasHealth.com Home Poems It's Life Glass Eye Slow Dance Vanessa's Story Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Eating Disorder Family and friends stories Help Me! Herpes stories I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	Vanessa's Story Things for me growing up weren't always easy.  I used food to cope with the pain of my parent's nightmarish divorce.  In high school, I would restrict so much so that I caught the attention of my basketball coaches. They said they couldn't let me play, because they were afraid that I was going to pass out on the court.  Eventually, I learned a new way to cope. I could eat whatever I wanted and still hurt myself. I wrote a poem about my struggles. A love/Hate Relationship with Bulimia You control my thoughts. I think about you everyday. You are there in times of need. Maybe not so much in the best way. So, I know I have to let you go. But I really want you to stay. Who will I be without you? What will I do to make the pain go away? Why do I resort to you? I guess I keep hurting myself and mistake it for bliss. But there is no happiness in vomit, Just ugliness. You misshapen piece of regurgitated food. You stare at me and I stare right back at you. I look in the toilet and its not enough. There is still more left in me. I am not hurting quite enough. I feel a little dizzy now. I feel a little weak. I try not to make a peep. As I clean up my mess and close the bathroom door. No one will know. I act like I am fine even though I don't feel so well. I can't walk straight. But hey, no one can tell. How do I stop? When I don't want to at all? I am still trying to find the courage to stop.  My best advice for those out there is to never begin. Share your story	Sign up for our Email Newsletter For Email Marketing you can trust
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